top of page
  • Writer's pictureAlexis

Why Dating a Cyclist Is a Wheely Bad Idea

1. They're already in a committed relationship...

With their bike. Nothing will stand between them and their trusty steed. Trust me.

2. They are the most high maintenence people you will ever meet.

Aside from bike worshipping, cyclists enjoy obsessing over healthy eating, hydration, ice baths and their dire need for leg massages. Good luck if they have a race coming up. You'll start to wonder whether you're dating an athlete or Mariah Carey.

3. Date night? Honey please.

Refer to reason #2. Unless you consider giving leg massages to be especially romantic, I would let them straddle their bike to their hearts desire.

4. They ruin everything

These people are savages. Don't let them fool you with their shaven legs and cool demeanor. One of them made me feel guilty for eating pizza because it's a "complex carb".

5. There's a 75% chance they listen to Cold Play

Maritza has the idea

6. They only know how to talk about bikes.

Really, I don't know what you're expecting from them. This is it. This is what you're signing up for

7. Fine. If you really think you can ~HaNdLe~ it go forth and ride.

If you fall, just make sure the fricken bike is okay.


Not Your Therapist.

62 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page